


(Not) Worried (At All)

by PepperMayor



Series: UWaterlooxUofT [2]
Category: Canadian Universities
Genre: Angst, COVID-19, Cali or bust success, Chad Waterloo, Exams, Flashbacks, Former-virgin Toronto, Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25191031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperMayor/pseuds/PepperMayor
Summary: It's been 3 years since they began dating, but now their long distance relationship is reinforced by a global pandemic. Tor misses Walt terribly, but at the same time, he's starting to worry that something's wrong. The stress of everything is getting to Walt, but what can Tor do, stuck inside in another country?
Relationships: University of Toronto/University of Waterloo
Series: UWaterlooxUofT [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824859
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	(Not) Worried (At All)

Tor pushed away from the computer with a sigh, and tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling. He kicked off his desk and started to spin, watching that same spot until he slowed.

Something was wrong and he didn’t know what to do about it.

Lately, Walt had been signing off their calls earlier and earlier, citing tiredness. He rarely wanted to videocall and it felt like they were talking less often, though they weren’t. But the conversation felt so hollow that they could have been strangers stuck together, not lovers...

Tor sighed, kicking off again, watching the ceiling spin. The last time they’d been so quiet...he didn’t even want to think about it. They’d been back in school then, hadn’t they? But when he closed his eyes, he could remember it clearly.

  


* * *

  


Tor lay on his stomach on his bed, staring at the open book without reading any of the words. The next, he rolled over, looking at the lamp, then grabbed his phone, then put that down again.

No new notifications, because this had been Tor’s idea. When they’d first got together, he’d told Walt that they’d go no contact during exams because he took exams very seriously.

Then again, he’d never expected such a fucking stupid exam schedule. He opened his phone to scowl at the calendar, as though he could reverse time and change things. All his courses - or rather, his hard courses - one after the other, in the first few days of exams. It had been hell, and he was glad it was over. 

And then, on the last possible day of the exam period, one more.

His bird course.

Because of course it was. 

Normally, he’d still be studying, setting a goal like making a perfect on the exam, but this year...this year he was distracted, and he knew by what. By his asshole boyfriend UWaterloo student who had insisted on dating him and now...now he wanted it. He wanted Walt nearby. He wanted to curl up with him on the couch and listen to him talk and...he dragged a pillow over his red face, then flopped over again, suddenly opening his messenger only to see his own “Hey” there, still unseen by Walt. Walt had exams too, but …. He hadn’t expected to be this lonely.

He dragged the book over, but trying to focus was useless as his brain kept revolving around Walt. God, he’d never thought he’d be so lovesick over that ass, and yet...here he was. He just needed a little to keep him going, and then he’d be good. Promise. But Walt wouldn’t be checking his phone…

The idea came to him suddenly and he sat upright, lifting the phone to his ear, waiting for it to connect.

“Hey, mom.” he said, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice. “I’m gonna come home early this year.”

  


* * *

  


Very soon, Tor was back in Waterloo. He had his books, sure, and his family gave him the space to study. But the real reason he was here...there was a springy lightness to his step as he made his way to the apartment where Walt lived. He still hadn’t been able to reach his boyfriend, but he kinda liked the idea of this being a surprise. He buzzed in and waited patiently, but the guy that opened the door was one of Walt’s roommate’s - a tall guy with fluffy brown hair.

“Ah…Tor, right?” he asked, and Tor nodded.

“I’m here to see Walt.” he told him.

For some reason, the guy’s mouth pulled to the side and he shook his head. “That’s...not a good idea right now. He’s got an exam in 2 days.”

“But-”

“Look, just come back later, kay?” fluffy hair stepped back and shut the door. Tor considered pounding on it, but he didn’t want to get arrested...or disturb the neighbours. “Fuck it.” he mumbled, leaving angrily, and treated himself to a bubble tea on his way home.

  


* * *

  


Two days later, though, he was back, wandering the campus as he tried to find the building Walt’s exam was in. Eventually, he just wandered into the library, curling his nose a bit at the smell. Maybe Walt was somewhere here?

No, but another of his roommates was, at one of the closest study desks. This one definitely wasn’t as weird as the last, because when Tor asked after Walt, the guy nodded thoughtfully. 

“He’s probably at the gym right now. I can show you where that is.”

Tor nodded gratefully, and breathed a sigh of relief when they left the library. He trailed behind the other student, not wanting to get lost when he was so close to Walt. He was surprised when they headed off campus, going back to Walt’s building and down the stairs. There was a small gym in the basement, mostly empty, but his boyfriend was running on one of the treadmills, earbuds in and eyes focused ahead. 

Tor crossed the room eagerly, barely noticing the other student head off. He found a seat on one of the weight machines, not minding a bit of a wait. He looked over Walt’s body, lightly sweaty, toned arms and legs working, and felt a knot of heat wind tightly in his stomach. Sometimes, he wasn’t sure how he’d ended up with such a hot boyfriend. He’d just notice it, sometimes, and then feel incredibly lucky.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat watching, but from the stiffness of his legs, it might have been a while when Walt finally slowed to a walk before getting off the machine. He turned and Tor was struck. For a moment, he thought Walt’s distant eyes would glaze right over him, staring into some unknown distance. Just a bit past his head, though, Walt blinked, turning back to face him. 

“Tor…?” he sounded genuinely confused.

“Walt! I came home early and decided to visit.” Tor was sure he’d failed to hide the excitement in his voice as he went to hug him. “I missed you.”

Walt lay a hand on his head, quiet for a moment. “Tor…” he murmured. “I have to study…”

“What?” Tor looked up at him, surprised, and gaped as Walt pulled away, heading for the door. “Hey! I actually came to see you!” Walt was heading for the stairs and Tor hurried after him, slipping into the apartment and briefly nodding as Walt’s roommate left. “I wanted to see you.”

Walt looked over him, almost as though he weren’t really there. “I need to shower.” he said softly, though Tor wasn’t sure if Walt was speaking to him or muttering to himself. Confused and irritated, he sat on the couch, waiting for Walt to finish in the bathroom.

His foot was tapping by the time Walt had taken a quick shower, and he crossed the floor to him, slipping into his room after him. It was...a lot messier than normal, but he was more concerned with the man in front of him. “Walter!”

Walt looked at him, irritation in those blank eyes, and Tor felt a shiver of something unpleasant going down his spine. Fuck. How did people do this? He’d never had to before.

“Walt~” he tried to make his voice soft and attractive, reaching up to run a hand over his bare chest. “Come on. I came home just to see you~ Don’t you miss me?” he tried to peek at him from under his lashes. He could feel Walt’s heart thudding under his fingers, hear the deep breath he took.

Walt blinked a few times, breathing a bit hard. “Not right now, Tor. I have exams.”

Tor tried to look innocent, pressing a little bit closer to his boyfriend. “It’s only a bit of time. Don’t you want me?~” he was blushing as his fingers brushed the towel Walt was wearing. Walt had done this to him so many times…

“Tor. You’re the one who wanted no contact during exams” Walt took his chin, tipping Tor’s face up to look into his eyes. “I’m following  _ your _ rule. It works for both of us.” His voice was terse and he had finally focused on Tor, it seemed. 

“You’re stressed, though. And it’s only a bit...you don’t take long to make me feel good~ and then you can get right back to it.” Tor let his fingers creep down, teasing just below Walt’s belly button. 

“But-” Tor stretched up, cutting off Walt’s words with a kiss. “Come on. Please? I want you~" he said, and then smiled victoriously as Walt’s arms finally curved around him with a soft groan. His boyfriend started to pull off his clothing, and Tor went along for the ride.

He should have been happy, getting what he wanted, but something...something was wrong. It was in Walt’s grip, tighter than usual, the way he pressed his face to Tor’s neck instead of kissing him endlessly. He was as gentle as ever and Tor wasn’t scared...but he could feel Walt’s shuddering breath and the tremble of his body through their connection. His own heart was beating faster and faster as the thing he had wanted so badly somehow felt more and more wrong.

Walt came, and Tor wrapped his arms around him, holding on tightly. The odd feeling was fading again, and maybe he’d imagined it - but it was back with a vengeance as abruptly, Walt pulled away. Leaving Tor on the bed, Walt dressed in sharp, rapid movements, then in three strides, crossed to his desk and sat. Tor scrambled to his knees, staring at him. He’d said Walt could get right back to it, but...he hadn’t thought Walt would take it literally.

“Walt…?”

“I  _ need _ to study. I have a schedule!” Walt’s voice was so harsh and angry that Tor wanted to curl in on himself, questioning his own actions. “I’ll...I’ll wait. We can...get dinner?” he suggested, casting a glance at the clock. Walt didn’t seem to hear him, sliding heavy duty headphones over his ears and bending over his books. 

He got dressed quietly and lay on Walt’s bed, watching the other work or playing on his muted phone. Two hours later, Walt didn’t even look up when Tor left, nor did he react when he returned with Walt’s favourite takeout. He pushed the container away when Tor tried to give it to him.

“Don’t get it on my notes.” he muttered. A bit later he got up - only to get coffee and a protein bar from the kitchen. Tor’s takeout was ignored with a terse, “Not now.”

Almost 4 hours after he’d arrived, Tor left Walt’s apartment feeling like he was fleeing a one night stand. Walt hadn’t even looked up to tell him goodbye.

Shortly after that, he made his excuses and headed back to UofT.

  


* * *

  


It was a rough few days for Tor, but at least he was likely to ace his exam. Faced with focusing or examining his emotions, the simple material had become engraved in Tor’s grey matter, but he kept reading. There had to be more, because...he didn’t want to think that he’d fucked things up. Were things...over now? Walt still hadn’t called, though his exams had ended. Tor put the book down and lay his head on his arms. He’d just...wanted to see him. He knew Walt’s exams were important too...but had that brief interlude really been so bad?

He looked ruefully at his phone.

Clearly, Walt thought so.

He’d just dragged himself to the kitchen for a break when he heard a knock on the door. 3 days before the end of exams, all his roommates had already gone home, so he didn’t know who it could be.

He wasn’t expecting to see Walt there, tired but smiling, lots of stuff in his arms.

“Tor! I’m done now, so I wanted to surprise you~” his voice was open and happy again, and his eyes were focused, nothing like that blank distance that had scared him a week ago. “I got you some stuff,” Walt was continuing, as he stepped into the apartment and offered Tor a bouquet.

“I’m not a girl!” Tor protested, even as he took the flowers carefully. Bright yellow daffodils shone inside the wrapping, and he flushed a bit. How had Walt even remembered that he liked these?

“I know I get a bit intense when I study.” Walt was saying, offering him a container. “I’m sorry I was mean to you.”

Tor’s mouth was watering as he took the small package. A coffee cake, rich with crumble and caramel. His absolute favourite… “Tha-”

“And I also got you this. Since you came to see me and all~”

Tor didn’t quite get the smirk on Walt’s face, until his eyes trailed down to Walt’s hand, where there dangled a scrap of fabric. What was that? Was that a-

“Walt!” he shouted, suddenly bright red. “No! I won’t wear that!”

Walt was laughing now. “Guess I can return-”

“No!” Face burning, Tor grabbed the thong and stuffed it in his pocket, spinning on his heel. “I’m not gonna let you do something perverted with it!”

He hurried into the kitchen, setting the cake down before gripping the counter, staring at nothing. He was feeling too many emotions, and it was difficult...hadn’t Walt been angry? But he was here...but…

“Tor?” Walt came into the kitchen then, stepping up behind Tor and wrapping his arms around him. “Was that too far? It was supposed to be a joke…”

Tor was quiet for a moment, but then he sighed, leaning his head back against Walt’s shoulder. “It...it’s fine. I just...I thought you were mad…”

Walt stood quietly, then pecked Tor’s hair. “I’m not.” he said, holding him a bit tighter. “I...I don’t want to talk about it. I’m not mad, promise. I came here right after a good sleep. I was thinking we could order pizza and watch one of those documentaries you like.”

Tor hesitated, but decided to let it go. “I need to study…” he mumbled, the words bitter on his tongue, remembering how coldly Walt had said them, “but I guess I could use a break.”

“Good~” Walt nuzzled him again, then carefully turned him to draw him into a kiss.

Feeling this, Tor relaxed fully, reaching up to hold onto his boyfriend. This...this was what he’d wanted. Things were back to normal and he never wanted to think of Walt’s coldness again…

  


* * *

  


Tor basked in the memory a little longer, then opened his eyes and pulled his gaze from the ceiling. He picked up the picture of him with Walt he kept on his desk. He’d never really analyzed it before. Things had gone back to normal, he’d seen his boyfriend off to California and risked a long distance relationship that had held up surprisingly strong. He'd gotten rid of the no-contact rule the next year. His memories of his last exams were entwined with Walt’s voice and his gentle teasing, his firm reminders to take breaks. 

With 3 years of age and experience on his side, that memory and Walt’s unusual behaviour...it didn’t add up with the man he knew his boyfriend to be. He reached down to rub his belly where Walt loved to pet, reached past and imagined a knot pulling itself tighter. His gut feeling said he needed to get Walt’s attention. Luckily, that memory had also given him inspiration for how.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to address the small moment of dub-con in this chapter. What Tor did - pushing his very stressed and acting oddly boyfriend to have sex - was wrong, especially since Walt had said no. Respect consent, everyone!
> 
> So here's a little outtake where they actually talk about what happened.
> 
> “Hey…Walt?” Tor shifted closer to his boyfriend, comfortably snuggled up in his bed. “Can we…talk about something?”
> 
> “Yeah, sure.” Walt rolled over and wrapped his arms around Tor, breathing in his scent. 
> 
> “I…wanted to make sure you were okay. I know I’m a dumbass, but you basically said no, and I still…kept pushing.” Tor mumbled, glad he didn’t have to meet his eyes. In the moment it had felt so right, but now, looking back…he knew better.
> 
> “It’s alright.” Walt smoothed Tor’s hair and looked into the darkness. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. It was shitty. You would have thrown a fit had I tried that during your exams.”
> 
> “Yeah…” Tor sighed. “I’m…really really sorry.”
> 
> “But I don’t hate you or anything. Like, it’s kinda funny now how horny you were.” Walt smirked a bit, and kissed his lover’s hair.
> 
> Tor relaxed minutely, burrowing closer to Walt’s Waterloo sweater. “Hey Walt…?” he mumbled again. “Is everything okay?”
> 
> Walt hesitated, then hugged him closer. “…Yeah.” He told him. “Go to sleep, Tor.”


End file.
